Over the Top

I have a tendency to take things to the extreme...like seriously to the extreme.  I get projects or an idea in my head and it just takes off like wildfire.  

For example; two years ago I decided to make treats to gift to friends and family at Christmas.  It started out as just a few types of cookies.  Then I added a few more types of cookies,  then I added two types of fudge, then two types of loaf bread, and finally Michaela's special request of haystacks.  I baked for 3 days straight!  Then I bought all these fancy boxes and wrappings to put everything in.  And to add to it I included gourmet hot cocoa, peppermint spoons, and dehydrated miniature marshmallows.  It was a massive project, to say the least.  I had fun doing it, but in the end I probably spent more than if I had just gotten everyone a small gift, not that the goodies weren't appreciated.

So now I have a new obsession, Halloween.  This year I will be in the office on Halloween.  So of course I have to dress up. No simple witch or monster costume here.  Nope, I am going as a grown up version of one of my favorite childhood characters...Strawberry Shortcake!  I am obsessed with finding every Strawberry accessory and costume part I can.  My hair is already dyed flaming red.  I have even found chocolate covered Strawberry Hershey kisses to hand out with little stickers that go on the bottom that say "You're Berry Sweet!"  I am so lucky to have a mom who can sew and is willing to entertain her adult daughters crazy ideas.  She is going to make me a Strawberry print babydoll dress.  I already found green and white striped leggings!  I will be obsessed with this right up to Halloween 😆.

Then it will be on to the next obsession, perhaps I will make a few types of fudge for Christmas this year...hey, now that's an idea!

I'm baaaaAAAAaaaack

It's been awhile, but after talking it over with the spouse I thought maybe it's time to unearth this blog thing and get back into writing.  After all my therapist has been bugging me to find a hobby.

So what to write about?  How about how this country continues to fail people with mental illness.  Case in point:

I was driving to work today on the freeway and right before a popular exit there was a man dressed in a bright yellow rain poncho and a pair of boots, not sure if he had anything else on, dancing, waving around, and in general acting erratic on the side of the road as cars zoomed past.  In my opinion he was either on something or had serious mental problems.  I was genuinely afraid he was going to spring out into traffic.

It's obvious right?  You call 911 to report him. But that's just going to send the cops, who's main course of action is to find a reason to arrest the guy.  Since I didn't think he was doing anything illegal I hesitated, on one hand he needed help, and on the other there's no one to call to just send someone to talk to him and maybe get him the treatment he needs.

In the end I called 911 and reported it, because I honestly was worried about his safety.  I really hope he got an understanding officer who maybe called a crisis team or at the very least an ambulance.  Not sure what good that will do though.  They can only hold people for so l9ng and then they are released with no real follow up care.

We need Healthcare reform in our country.  We need to defend the police and put community programs in place to deal with the homeless, mentally ill, and those with substance abuse difficulties.  Let the police do their job of keeping the peace and fighting real crimes and let others pick up the pieces of society.  

What can you do to make changes?  Pay attention to politics, pay attention to candidates running for office, from your county commissioners all the way to the president, and VOTE for those willing to make the changes you want to see!  Your vote does count and it does matter.  This next presidential election in 2024 is going to be monumental, make sure you are really paying attention.  Get your news from several sources and have an open mind.  If you want my opinion I can give it to you, and will probably post more about it here as time goes on.   We can be the change we want to see!

Do it for the guy in the yellow rain poncho dancing on the side of I5.

Why I Dress My Dog Up

'Tis The Season

Oh yes, it's the most wonderful time of the year.  The time where we all come together to wish each other well and good cheer.  A time to spend with family and friends, and to count our blessings.  A time to share good food and good times with all.  So why all the stress?  Why all the arguing and bickering over who's holiday trumps who's?  Why all the animosity?  Where is it all coming from?

This is the time of year where I see so many posts online, and hear so many people talking about how everyone is taking the "Christ" out of Christmas.  And how everyone is getting too sensitive and they are going to say "Merry Christmas" to everyone whether they like it or not and they will be really offended if the person doesn't say "Merry Christmas" right back.  I see and hear all of "Jesus is the reason for the season" plastered everywhere.  And it seems to me like the majority of the strife is coming from some, not all, Christians who feel "their" holiday is being taken over.  So let's take a closer look at this, shall we?

What is Christmas all about anyway?  Well, the Christian celebration is the birth of Jesus in a manger, with three wise men, and some animals.  So basically the birth of Jesus.  This is celebrated on the 25th of December.  So this man, called Jesus, was presumably born on the 25th of December, right?  Actually, no.  Scholars and historians have calculated Jesus's birthdate to be some time in June.  Feel free to search for yourself or check out this link here for more information.  So why would the Christians start a false holiday?

Well, you see there were these pesky heathens running around worshipping all these other gods and goddesses, and the Christians very much wanted to convert them to Christianity.  In order to make the transition smoother the church created Christian celebrations that mirrored the Pagan ones.  One of them being Christmas.  Christmas was used to replace Yule also known as the Winter Solstice.  This is a time of year when the night is the longest and the Pagans are celebrating the birth of the Sun God who will return to the earth and brighten the days.  Hmmm, birth of the Sun God, birth of Jesus.  Trees, being male phallic symbols were decorated with edible treats for the birds and wildlife to help them through the last of Winter until the Sun God was strong enough to help the earth grow again. 

And to this day there are still people who celebrate the Winter Solstice and the birth of the Sun God.  Now, that doesn't make Christmas any less of a holiday.  After all it's been around long enough now to earn itself a place at the December holiday table right up there with Hanukkah and Kawanzaa. 

There is another pesky little thing I would like to address, the dreaded "X".  SO , so often through the holidays I get lectured on how I shouldn't use Xmas as an abbreviation for Christmas as it is disrespectful to Christ.  Guess what, it's not.  Please read up here for the full explanation.  For the short version, "X" has replaced Christ's name in Christianity for centuries because it is from the Greek alphabet.  It has nothing to do with disrespect.

One last thing, if someone wishes you a "Merry Christmas", "Happy Holidays", "Seasons Greetings", "Happy Hanukkah", "Happy Kawanzaa", "Merry Yule", or a "Merry Happy ChristmaKawanzHanuYule!", just remember they are all doing it with the same intention, to wish you and yours a well and a Happy New Year!

Next lesson, how to stop commercializing whatever you celebrate!

Matter of Perspective

Now that marijuana has been legalized in Oregon, and even more recently can be sold in a retail setting, it has become a hot topic of conversation everywhere.  On one hand I think that's great.  We should be talking about it.  We should talk about its risks, its benefits, appropriate times to use it, legal age, and all the other important boundaries we would talk about with any other controlled substance like tobacco or alcohol.

The problem I am having is the media sensationalizing any and every negative experience that has happened here that may or may not involve marijuana.  For one thing, it gives the impression hat it only happened because marijuana was legalized, and for another it gives the impression that whatever the outcome was marijuana was the one and only cause.  Neither of these is always true.

For example there is this recent tragic event.  Notice how the headline boldly claims the driver allegedly was smoking pot.  Notice how they slipped in there that the accident comes just 5 days after retail sales of recreational marijuana is legal.  And also notice that all the way at the bottom they finally say that the driver was smoking "seconds" before the crash.

Don't get me wrong, I do not in any way shape or form condone any type of driving while under the influence.  However, for the sake of playing devil's advocate, let's say that this moron took his very first hit just seconds before the crash.  He would not have been high at that point, it takes a little time to get to that point.  Could he have been distracted?  Probably, but high?  Most likely not.

Also, the fact that retail sales just started has absolutely nothing to do with this story.  If the media and authorities think that just because it is legal it is all of a sudden easier to get your hands on marijuana then they are really delusional.  This area has to be one of the easiest to buy marijuana, even before it was legal.  I can think of about 5 people off of the top of my head I could go to and say hey, I want to get high, and they would gladly oblige.  This same tragic accident could have easily taken place last year, the year before, or even 4 years ago for that matter.  Making it legal doesn't make people smarter.  It just makes it so those who choose not to break the law can enjoy what is known to be a relatively safe drug when used in moderation like everything else.

So the next time you see a news article that makes you angry about a hot topic issue stop and ask yourself, is this just a matter of perspective?

Thinking

I am feeling very introspective today.  This is usually either a very good thing or a very bad thing that then ends up being a very good thing...either way I win it's just a matter of how rocky the road is ahead.

I am not really thinking about anything in particular, more like lots of things in particular that add up to the big picture.  If that makes any sense.  I am thinking a lot about journeys and paths taken and roads less traveled.  I am thinking about the forks in the road in front of me and the decisions I need to make soon. 

I am thinking about how much should I let my past journeys affect my new roads, and what baggage can I really afford to leave behind.  Because even though sometimes you really just want to get rid of that baggage, because it's old and tattered and painful, you also want to cling to it because it's all you've ever really known and if you get rid of it what will you pack your things in now?

I am thinking about the unknown and adventure and how much it used to thrill and excitement, and how that now that I have been burned so badly all I want to do is curl in a ball and hide from the world never to try again.  I think about how bold and brave I used to be, and how sometimes, just sometimes I see that glimmer of my former self in the mirror before my inner monologue squashes it like a parent telling a child too close to a hot stove "NO! Ouch! You'll hurt yourself!"

I am thinking about how to define the word "alone" as in "I feel so alone".  Because whenever I say it to someone I love they are always so helpful in listing off all the amazing people in my life.  And while it's true I do have an amazing support system I still feel "alone" and yet I can't explain it.

I think back looking for the happy days, and am grateful when I can find them, it's progress.  I am making progress.  I take some breaths.  I focus on a happy memory hoping to pull myself from this downward spiral.  Almost, for now I will settle for staying steady.  It's progress.

A Little Compassion

It's all well and good that organizations provide their employees with bereavement leave, and I understand not all do so this is a luxury and not necessarily a right.  But when they do provide it there are so many policies surrounding it that it is almost a hassle to use it, not what you need in a time of loss.  Those who don't have it, should, it provides piece of mind to their employees...as long as you pay attention to what I have to say here.

Most places only cover what they call "immediate family", but everyone has a different definition of "immediate family".  For some it is just spouse, parents, and children.  For others they extend it out to brothers and sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles, even cousins.  For some it only covers your family, for others it covers your spouse's family as well.  Some cover step, some don't.

But here is what none of them take into account...Your relationship with the deceased.  Nobody cares that the person who died had a huge impact on you growing up, or that was the one person who inspired and helped you go to college, or that was the one person in your family you truly connected to.  Who cares if that one person was a second cousin, a great great aunt, a great grandmother, or some other "distant" relative.

It is assumed that people live in the 1950's nuclear family environment still.  Mom, dad, and kids live together in their little pod, and the rest of the families all live in their little pods and everyone gets together for Christmas, Easter, and maybe a Summer Reunion.  Guess what?  That's not the reality anymore, and hasn't been for a while.  Reality is more and more families are living together in multi-generational homes.  More and more people are seeing the benefits of spending time with their elders and gaining the knowledge of the past from them. 

And then you also have the other aspect, not every family has a nice, pretty, perfect family tree.  My family tree would look like a gnarly old oak tree if you were to map it out with two of  my great aunts being born just before my mom and being closer in age to her than her own younger sisters, so naturally she was closer to them and so was I.  My family tree also comes with trap doors, tree houses and zip lines, because you just never know what nut is going to shake loose whenever you start asking questions about family history.  The point is though there are some whose leaves are within poking distance that I have probably only spent hours with in my entire life, whereas there are others that I would have to scamper across the entire tree to get to that I spent so much time learning from and loving their company yet when the one I barely know passes I can get bereavement leave without a second glance, and the one who was the bigger influence on my life I have to find a way to get time off some other way.

Yes, I know there would probably be a couple who would abuse the system if it was opened up wider.  And honestly for those who family means so much, like me, it would make times of loss less stressful and more productive at work.  Instead of offering the 24 hours of leave being offered for "Immediate Family" perhaps they could offer just 8 hours for Extended Family, just so someone can attend the services.  It just seems so cold for this giant organism to decide who is most important to me based on dilution of blood.  If you are going to go by that then they are equally as unimportant because nobody has the same bloody parents!