Tuesday, September 30, 2014

I Cry

My tears may flow freely at times, yet I do not give them away for free.  You must earn them from me.  You must touch me deeply in order for my tears to stream down my face for you.  There are many types of touch both physical and emotional, both good and bad.  Just as there are many types of tears.

I have cried tears of joy through smiles and bright shining eyes, and I have cried tears of anguish through gut wrenching sobs.  Some who have known me have said that I cry too much, or that I cry for no reason at all, but I have come to believe that is not true.  I have come to believe that those people just found my tears to be disconcerting and uncomfortable and just because they couldn't explain my tears, or even that I couldn't at the time, doesn't mean they were without reason.

I have cried tears on some the happiest days of my life and that of my friends and family just as I have cried tears on some of the darkest days.  I cry tears of sympathy for those who can't, for even they touch me in ways you may never understand.  In fact, I am crying right now just thinking about them.

I cry for children I don't know who are abused and murdered, and I cry for helpless animals who meet the same fate.  You see, I feel their pain too and yes they touch me as well.  I cry when I read a sad story, and I cry when I read a story that is uplifting and full of triumph because they have found a place in me that connects and touches me.

I also cry for the pain I have endured over the years, both physical and emotional.  I cry for all the ways people have touched me in ways I never deserved.  I cry because sometimes that pain wells up so much inside me I have no choice but to release it and the tears run down my face and the sobbing wracks my body as I shake uncontrollably.  I cry because they touched me.

I cry.

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